[ox-en] iv) apt-get pizza
- From: picacho <adam diamat.org.uk>
- Date: Thu, 01 May 2008 09:12:44 +0100
a couple of years ago
i was leafing early one morning
through a coffee table book
with lots of plates of humanoid skulls
bones, and hard technologies --
a paleoanthropological picture book
i don't recall the title but
in the introduction the author had stated
that they were quite unabashed
at having no formal training
or even site experience
because as a matter of fact
there are way more paleoanthropologists
than there are humanoid fossils
and none of these paleoanthropologists can quite agree
upon the existing broken fossil record
so why should s(he)
not form their own opinion
i like picture books
it was too dark to read in any case
i was straining my eyes
sat at the crack in the curtain blinds
and for sure
i didn't want to switch on the light
because there was someone in the room asleep
who i didn't want to wake
if only because it had taken me ages
to get them to sleep in the first place ...
one ramadan i was informed
that there's only four things
that can keep one awake
hunger pain fear and love
the bloke who told me this
obviously, had never had phet
it was the middle of the night
and we were waiting for dusk elsewhere
the conversation in fast and drifting consciousness
slipped to card games
or rather, one in particular
a variation of whist
with trumps and wild cards changing each trick
the rules dependent upon
who and how the last trick was won ...
my game is cribbage
i especially like playing in pairs
the coffee book described oldowan technology
mode one allegedly
it described a cave find
and the wonder of over sized cutting heads
hammered out by a group of humanoid bipeds --
the wonder, the heads too large
for day to day use
examples, hard remnants
of a long abandoned training school
i love lucy
leakey's character
she helped me relate to people again
i imagined her wondering around
just being, just living
innocent of any myth
other than her own
but for some reason
always with a bag
carrying stuff
mode one soft
before mode one hard
and way before mode accessorising
the missing link
do we discovery only what we seek
or do we discover only
scooby dooby do
homo habilis, homo erectus
homo one type or other
a many platted history
from homo beast to our own now
perfect homo form
homo irony
a tour guide to a very old cave system in the moors
was asked once by a class teacher
to be very particular
with the dates
he used
to describe the structures
as the kids had been taught
the world was only five thousand years young
and they could do with out the contradiction
how old's the cave -- the kids cross examined
oh they're very old
i know that -- said the guide --
they've been here as long as me
borges would put it differently
rather than categorising these finds as homo
he'd call them the hronir
and suggest they are no more than
the accidental products of distraction
forgetfulness, lost memories of a single author,
or stranger, maybe more pure, he talks in terms of ur
a treasure educed by hope, a hint
a find produced via suggestion alone ...
------------------------------------------------------
Be aware, you may find some of the following content
disturbing -- it disturbs me also.
------------------------------------------------------
three of us
had been down a dive
on the lower don
late one night
and we'd just got out ...
i am starved
-- says the big lad --
let's get a taxi
you can cook when we get home
am not yor mother -- says i giggling
yes you are -- replies the big lad --
or least you are
when she's not around
what you got in -- says i still giggling
pardon -- says the big lad
food -- says i --
what food you got in at the house
none -- replies the big lad --
didn't you get any
no -- says i --
i'm not yor mother
fuck -- says the big lad
i am fucking starved
i have some cheese
and rye bread
you can have those if you wish -- says us compadre
fuck no
be serious why don't you
i am fucking starved
well let's walk in to town then
-- suggested i --
there'll be somat open there
or if not
there'll be somat open on london road
no
i am shagged -- replied the big lad --
let's get a cab
nayow -- says i --
we've spent a bomb tonight already
let's walk in to town
get a kebab there or something
let's go yeah, come on
you can be so mean -- shakes the big lad
growling
mean -- enquires us compadre
yes mean
-- nods the big lad
turning to me --
didn't you say
we earn't more this month
than all the months
of the first year put together
yes
and you won't pay for a taxi
which you will put through
the expenses
you see what i mean
he's mean
listen -- says i --
just because we've had a good month
this month
dunt mean the next one
will be the same
but have got to admit
things are looking up
there's a lot of work rolling in
but do you know what
i really don't have
the faintest fucking idea
of what we're really selling
but i do this
never mind what's coming in
judging from what's gone out this month
it appears to me
that all i am really doing
for a fucking living
is feeding a very big fucking
hardware habit
of a few individuals
come on
let't get that kebab
none -- barks the big lad
shaking his head --
let's get a cab
i am shagged
i win us 3k this week alone
don't be so mean
i don't know what we're fucking selling
-- barks i --
come on, help me out here
it's you that's got the business degree
not me
i have told you this before
-- barks the big lad --
you told me
we needed larger monitors
so i bought the fucking monitors
big fucking deal
i gained three times those this week
i know, i know -- says i --
i just thought, i'd got a few months
i just thought, i could see a few months ahead
and it feels like it's slipping already
i will earn more money next week
-- barks the big lad --
i told you
we are developing
this is not the stage
to look for profit
well tell me again
what am i selling
confidence
-- barks the big lad --
i have told you this many times
sometimes you can be such a wus
can i -- says i
yes
-- he barks --
i have told you
it doesn't matter what we sell
-- now shaking his head really slowly
he growled --
i am business
if you have no confidence of your own
pimp mine
but remember
quality, price, time
they can fix two
but we fix one
always
let's get a fucking taxi
i deserve it tonight
no, i do know
but can't we just
go slowly at it
fuck,
i don't want to have pull you off the rewrite
to do some ugly hack elsewhere
can't we just stabilise
with the jobs we have
they're good clients
look at the code you've written already
good clients, bad clients
-- barks the big lad
a vein showing
on his forehead --
what does it fucking matter
as long as they fucking pay
what does it fucking matter
what about the fucking unicode -- barks i
well yes
that was very pretty
but no
i am nearly there with the rewrite
and then kerching, cash cow, yes
good clients, bad clients
it doesn't matter
only the numbers matter
oh,
are you that close
-- queries i --
i didn't know
yes, i am tired
get a taxi
and food, yes
no let's talk
i didn't know you were that close
is that why you invited me out
cos you've been upstairs most of the night
i have been busy
i am shagged
and i am starved
let's get that cab,
and a kebab yes
nayow, let's talk
cos i miss you man
and anyway, you'll just sleep
if we go back now, and
whilst you were upstairs
me and us compadre were half way through chatting
and i think we might be on to something
i've had a thought ...
what
if you went to a party yeah,
and you kinda got so drunk that you passed out yeah,
but happy yeah,
and then you woke up dazed
but otherwise ok
but with a weird taste in your month yeah
and there staring at ya
was the smiley face
and the shiny white teeth
of what you took to be
the biggest nigerian that you'd ever seen
in yor live,
yeah
but it felt nice, yeah
they were stroking your head
which is resting on their tummy
what would you think
what -- enquires the big lad --
well
what would you think
-- says i --
what, think
what
think to what
-- stops the big lad --
well
would you tell any body
what
if that happened to you
would you tell any body
no fuck off man, no
wouldn't you
no, fuck you man no
oh, well that's ok then
do you fancy coming to a party with me
the big lad grabs hold of me
squeezing really tight
rubs his knuckles in to mi temples
and says --
i've missed you man
you are fucking mad
i know -- says i --
come on, let's get that kebab
and talk yeah, ca va
we walk yeah, ok
ok
we begin to walk up the don
and in to town ...
grand
i think i am on to something though
you know how you say
selling software
is just like selling wind
ya
well selling beer is just the same really
in that most of what you sell is water
oh
so
nowt really
-- says i replying --
it used to be a lot stronger though
you know round here
they use to sell beer that strong
that if you'd had four pints
and you saw a coin on the pavement
you wouldn't bend down to pick it up
not even if it was a sovereign
cos if you did you'd be stuck
one old bloke i used to knock around with
though, when i was yor age
vincent, a big old bloke as big as you
told me once,
that he'd been out
in town, dancing, when he was young
and thought, he'd be fine to drink a gallon
boy was he confused,
it took him the best part of an hour
just to orientate himself
it was too late for the buses
so when he got his bearings
he decided to walk
the eight miles or so
back home to a place called park gate
back down the lower don,
through the wicker arches
-- says i pointing --
down there,
and down attercliff
before it was ripped down
it used to be residential down there
you know, he didn't make it though
oh no, the beer kicked in
so he decided to find a dark place
and sit it out til morning
he thought he'd catch the first bus back
but it didn't work out quite like that, no
he found the dark place fine though
a sunken doorway on a street corner
wide, with two wide doors
he thought it was a disused shop
he sat down and was soon asleep
but was woken by the noise of a car
or rather a car door banging
and then the tip tapping of feet
he looked up from the door well
and saw the most beautiful women
he'd ever clapped eyes on
carry a child in her arms asleep ...
oh, we're here
can you hear that noise
it's a chat i think ...
we stop on a bridge to listen
a lady with mousy hair
and bucked teeth pops out
of the undergrowth
and says to me --
do you want business
no ta luv -- says i giggling
what about you
-- the lady addressing us compadre --
what -- replies us compadre
sex, do you want sex -- replies the lady
no thank you -- replies us compadre --
i have some already
i giggle again
you -- continues the lady
now addressing the big lad --
me what -- he replies
do you want sex
not with you you fucking slag
woh woh woh
-- barks i --
she was only fucking asking
well, as you would say
i was only fucking telling
fuck -- bark i --
what have i reared here
come on, am fucking starved
-- barks the big lad --
ok, ok -- barks i --
ta ra luv
anal, i do anal
-- continues the lady --
how much
-- says the big lad --
twenty, come on let's be quick
-- replies the lady,
motioning back to the undergrowth --
no -- barks the big lad --
i have told you
not with you you fucking slag
woh -- barks i --
why the fuck
did you ask the price for then
it was an academic question
-- replies the big lad --
i was only fucking asking
fucking academics
-- barks the lady --
fuck off i need to score
i giggle at this
and the big lad roars, in laughter
he points at me and swivels his hand
around his index finger
fucking academics
-- he roars --
come on
leave the slut alone
i am starved
ok, ta ra luv
-- says i --
have you got a fag
-- enquires the lady
er, have a rolly if you want one
fuck, go on then
you rolling it yeah
come on -- barks the big lad
just a minute
do you want go
and keep him company for a minute please
while i roll this -- i say to us compadre
who nods and walks away,
i roll it quick
and pass it to the lady
who whispers --
do you want anal
no -- says i --
i'm trying to give it up
oh -- says the lady looking right at me --
fuck off then
i need to score
ok, ta ra luv
-- says i moving on
skipping up the road
oy -- barks the lady
what -- says i turning
thanks for the fag
i nod and smile
and catch up with the lads
but no sooner have i done so, then
there comes a call from down a back road
over towards the river side pub ...
lads
have you got a minute lads
have you ever seen anything like this
we look down the road
and see two men standing
either side of something covered
but moving at their feet ...
we're busy -- barks i --
come on, -- i says to the others --
let's keep moving
-- the big lad nods and says --
fuck, the crazies are out tonight
aren't we though
why did you have a go at her
-- ending my question
with the stress on the her --
man,
she's a fucking whore isn't she
technically so wa' the last three women
we were talking with tonight
but i din't hear you having a go at any o'them
that was different
i was fucking with them
i'm not fucking with her
fuck
what
just fuck
silence from the big lad
and then --
you know what your problem is don't you
silence from me and then --
nayow, go on, tell me
you have no taste
no, how come
you don't see any difference
between her
and the women we were with earlier
oh, now have clicked it
it's the fucking norman tongue again init
do you know, before the normans invaded
we used to eat pig meat and bull meat
but now we don't,
we eat pork and beef instead
taste init, norman taste, quality, vapour ware
we used to talk about a things worth before
but now all we ever fucking talk about
is a things ever changing fucking value
the language is fucking diseased
wittgenstein -- says us compadre
genau -- says i
what is this
genau -- says the big lad
exactament, it means exactament
fucking academics
-- laughs the big lad --
let me put it this way
i think and write in perl now
i do a lot of the diseasing myself
i giggle and say --
what am going do with you
me -- entreats the big lad --
it is not me
it is you
that needs to change
you do not how to choose
those women,
could you not tell the difference
listen, fuck choice sweetheart
i'm half irish
if there is any thing i do know
by christ it is how to fucking pick
ah
there
i have got you
it always comes down to this
you talk to me about vapour ware
what is religion if it's not vapour ware
what's religion got to do with this
-- i reply --
you brought it up
when you blasphemed
i shake mi head say --
yor on the wind up tonight
you are, aren't you
have heard a lot of blasphemy
in mi time,
sometimes
i even correct it
ah
you see,
you are at it again
listen -- says i --
i told you when you asked me
about communism, dunt ask me
read the books, you don't have to
said you, i did it at school
it has failed, what has, said i
the soviets said you,
that wasn't communism said i
read the books
it is the same
for all religions ...
oh ...
-- i say, as we reach
the town centre --
i'd have thought they'd have been somewhere open here
we might have to wait until london road
kebabish will be open there, but,
thinking about it,
there's usually a van
down on silvester gardens at this time of night
let's go this way
no no no,
this way
this way
-- motions the big lad --
i know a little place
where i can get a little snack
this way, this way
ok, ok
so that is your kernel
you are a marxist
i stop
shake mi head
and say --
oh, aren't we all though
fuck no man,
i am not a fucking marxist
-- comes his reply --
did you read capital
-- says i --
of course not
marxism is dead
it is a dead idea
no i know
but do you know what
lots of big capitalist have read it
they've got the time you see
all the time in the world
some o'em use it as a fuckinginstructionbook
a fucking manual
if you really do
want us to go kerching
when you next release the rewrite
it really would be worth a read
no fuck no man
my eyes, how do you say it
strained, that's it, strained
i read many libraries
if you think there is something in capital of value
why not provide me with a precis
... here, do you want any thing
chips chips yes
no man, i ate earlier
that's ok
no, go on man,
i'll get you some chips yes
chips chips yeah
you won't get any of mine
i know you man
i don't want any thanks
yeah, but i know you man
if you don't get some
you'll take one of mine
if i offer,
and i am really starved now
these chips are just a little stack yeah
we call in at kebabish later, yes
yeah
but dunt get me any chips here
-- says i --
i dunt want any thanks
but you will take one of mine
-- retorts the big lad --
nayow a waint -- i protest --
not if you dunt offer me one
i dunt want any thanks
but you will
if i offer you one of mine
so don't offer
-- says i, just as a suggestion --
what about you
-- the big lad continues
now addressing us compadre --
no thank you
i have the cheese and rye back at the house
so you are hungry yeah
have some chips chips man
they have loads of stuff here
but it takes time, and it is a bit rough
the food, it is a bit ruff
-- barks the big lad --
but chips chips man, yeah
you cant go wrong with chips man
no thank you
i am little peckish ya
but i can wait
but would you take one
if i offered you one of mine
no thank you
i can wait
ok ok -- the big lad turns to me --
so you sure you don't want any chips
because i know you man
nayow -- says i giggling --
i thought you were hungry
go get ya chips
am going to have a fag out here thanks
the big lads does that swively pointy thing again
at me, and then goes inside to get the chips ...
us compadre and i smile at each other
you still ok -- i say to us compadre
yes
i think i might listen to music
when we get back
that will be nice
it's a nice night init
i mean, weather wise
did you hear that chat on the bridge
chat -- us compadre queries
yes, chat
that bird -- i say, and then imitate
the bird call
oh yes,
i'd almost forgotten
that was nice
phwat was
-- enquires the big lad
exiting the little shop door
like geoff capes out of a mini cooper
but with a face stuff full of french fries
that bird, la oiseau sur la pont
did you hear it -- i imitate the bird call again
oh yeah
before we were interrupted ...
i take a drag on mi fag
breath out, look at the big lad
and say --
you've got a sister right man
yeah
-- says he --
what the fuck
has that got to do
with anything
i stare at him and say --
she's been poorly yeah
but well looked after
yeah
-- says he --
so
some women have different stories
that's all
do not compare that fucking whore
with my sister
-- barks the big lad
munching through the chips
how could i
i don't know either of them
but i do know when somebody is weak
it is easy to exploit
my sister is not a fucking slag
-- roars the big lad --
i never said she was
hold on a minute,
listen,
from all you've told me
she just needs a bit of looking after
she's poorly yeah
none of it her fault
yeah man, but that women on the bridge
man, couldn't you see for yourself
crazy man, crazy
you can't look after some thing like that
yeah i know
i think that's my point
the crunch has already come in her life
probably many times
maybe many times a day
and she survives it ya
and she turns a dollar,
who knows for how much longer
but could your sister ...
it is not my sister though is it
that women on the bridge is born to this life
it is unfortunate but it is life
my sister is not born to this
we survive a different way
i shake my head and say --
i dunno really what life the women
on the bridge was born to
it's past that point now
she's only got the one
and that's to survive serving the base interest of men
i dunt know what she does in her spare time
or even if she gets any
i could hazard a guess i suppose
but it would no doubt
be very banal, ugly and violent
it might yet have it's occasional sparkle
or i doubt she'd have lasted this long
fuck -- sighs the big lad --
listen, it is unfortunate
but listen, you have to move on, yes
we need to move on, this is just how life works
survival, it is unfortunate that the weak perish
but it is nature
weak -- barks i --
the lady at the bridge isn't the weak
she is the strong,
but you still think somehow
she was born to this life
yes -- barks the big lad --
you saw her
you don't get as crazy as that
in just one generation
i stop and stare,
and leave that one there
i shake my head again
what -- says the big lad
dint you save me any
what -- repeats the big lad
chips chips chippies -- says i
no -- says he --
i knew you would do this
i knew he would
i told you
why do you this
i was just wondering
that's all,
but you feel better yeah
yes, i am still starved though
but not as starved
peckish -- suggests us compadre
no man, be serious
peck peck peckish
no man, more like this
-- he roars --
no seriously man
i am still starved
but you feel a bit better yeah
no rush to get to the next place
let's wonder yeah for a bit
yeah ok man
grand
so you nearly finished the rewrite then
yes
this week
grand
what else you been working on
what do you mean
what else
i dunt know
what else
well you know
i did that dirty hack
the 3k kerching
yeah, i know
but you know yourself
that only took you an hour
an't you been doing owt else
ah ha ah ah
-- stutters the big lad
in a very loud laugh --
that is why i love you man,
you are so suspicious
nayow
-- says i
shaking mi head
and giggling --
i meant the triple store
no man
oh man no, oh man yes
i dream yes
but no,
it dreams of me
let's talk about this one post release please
but we need to kerching yes
some thought to it, yes
-- nods the big lad --
and some chat on stamen also
but no big code
you know
just shit really
i concentrate on the rewrite yes
it's a lot of work
it must be
but you're happy still developing
yeah
d'accord
-- nods the big lad --
of course
just checking
what
nowt really
i like stamen
-- says us compadre --
that's really taken off
yeah -- retorts the big lad --
but it was obvious
it had been obvious for months
if not a year, it filled a gap
that is all, but the triple store
if i can only, if only, if, oh
it's so close,
but maybe no, oh
oh
oh is that close -- says i enquiring --
yes, maybe three years,
maybe five
don't get me thinking about it man
it's so close
i nod
and bite mi bottom lip ...
have you ever read
the giant carbuncle story
-- enquires us compadre
carbuncle, what is this
carbuncle
it is a great big spot
-- i offer --
what -- enquires us compadre
carbuncle,
it is the name given to a great big
septic spot, like on your neck,
or somewhere
have you seen one
-- says i --
holding my hands cupped
to my neck and squeezing
the imaginary pussy carbuncle
at the same time as purping air
out my mouth, and miming the fall
and moving my head back as it splats on the floor
hewwww -- in repulsion intones the big lad shaking --
oh yes, they are grosse
i have seen them, hewwww
does it mean that as well -- enquires us compadre
yes
-- says i --
as well as what
it usually means that doesn't it
does it, no
it means a precious stone,
glowing, a red jewel
yes, yes, i remember
shining, bright
a ruby, ruby man, a ruby
yes that is what it is like
-- nods the big lad --
it is in an amine
yes, a quest, a quest
that it is what it is like
do you know the story -- enquires us compadre
yes, well no
it's recurs in many stories
pilgrims progress really
ah
-- stops the big lad --
you are at it again
no am not
-- i giggle --
well maybe i am
but you said you wanted distracting
dint you, from the triple store
and
you know this kerching thing
it won't work like you think
i dunt think
the big lad stops again
wipes his hand
on the bottom of jeans
and says --
why not
it must work like i think
but it won't
will it
why not -- barks the big lad
well
you know the folk you work with
yes
well,
amongst them,
it is only you that wants a shop
fuck man no
we are a shop
how many time do we need to go over this
what are we if we are not a shop
but it's only you
who wants a shop
fuck no man
is this true,
no, this cannot be true
how is it like this
how can you live like this
i don't really know
but it is, and we do, can you remember
three years ago, when you were here
the first time round,
well it's taken me
from then til now
to convince the folk around here
that if we're not doing this profit
we should at least not make a loss
us compadre nods
fuck no,
what is wrong with you lusers
this really sucks
nayow, it's doesn't,
or at least it dunt after
did i ever tell you how i got in to this game
software, i've told you bits haven't i
down in stevenage and the new towns
in the south, it was very fast there
still is i guess, different pace
engineers moving in and out
vroom vroom
loads of money, the eighties
credit boom economy, thames water
in a way, it was nice to see
hopes, we were told we had a eight figure sum
for design alone
and a ten figure sum
for the build,
we were going to something with the money
something useful, well it didn't quite work out like that
but upon the back of the design budget
we got a bucket fund for initial feasibility
for all things touching the various interfaces
between the water company, the agencies and the knew technology
i ran the books, new monitors, book it to cost centre 2410
code name thesis, i'd say to the lads
coprocessors, book them to 2410
spark machine, thanks lads 2410,
norton utilities, danger to come, 2410 ...
you'll like this one man
we had request on this one occasion
to meet with some americans
a few blokes and a lady from kansas
they'd connected up a load of remote sensor units
via early modems and they were interested
in exchanging ideas, we were interested too
my boss, david called me over, and said --
sort out whatever you think we need for the visit
book it to 2410
what, book what -- says i --
w'well, he stuttered
th'they'll need ac'ac'accomo
n'n'no they won't,
th'they have that, he said
no no thames thames has that covered
we need a working, a working breakfast
lunch, and an event, m'maybe london
ask r'richard, th'theatre m'maybe
put it th'through p'petty cash
b'but b'b'book it t't't'twofouroneoh
ok -- says i --
shall i buy some coke
c'coke -- says he --
c'c'coke
yes, coke -- say i --
they're americans aren't they
shall i get some coke
wh'what kind o'of coke
i dunt know
i'll see what i can get with the money
no n'no don't w'worry
-- he replies --
they're engineers
the council b'bar should p'prove sufficient
i stopped talking for a bit ...
well -- says the big lad --
did they want coke
i don't know -- say i --
but if they did
it wasn't b'booked to t't'twofouroneoh
man -- exclaims the big lad --
why do you tell me these stories
we are different
we are private practice
no i know
but the money's coming in the same way
it's really feasibility money
as you say, were just developing
that's how we got the money from becta init
developing, they're watching us aren't they
helping us, we're helping them,
we're all trying to learn, aren't we,
who knows where this will go
man this sucks
-- exclaims the big lad
screwing his face up
in disgust --
we have no business plan
how can we succeed
without a plan
who says we don't have a plan
-- says i --
we're engineers and architects aren't we
we've got loads of plans
the big lad stops
shakes is head and says --
this sucks man
i know
i used to get really confused about plans mysen
david used to hate it
back down in stevenage
i'd answer the phone
and deal with the queries
other than the bucket fund
we ran the drainage office
and sewers being sewers
they sometimes get blocked ...
i'd answer the phone --
what address is that luv, i'd ask
where the shits coming out
oh, oh, i'd say
hold on a minute luv
i'll just go and get the relevant drainage map
oh, oh, i'd say, yes
we've had problems there before
it is very flat
i'll dispatch direct labour now directly
and clear that mess up for you luv
they'll be there shortly
david -- i exclaim --
man he used look at me in frustration
almost shake, and say --
t'they are not maps
t'they are p'plans
oh, said i
but i'd embarrassed him enough
do you know what he did
him and his mate, kevin,
who was then running street cleansing
they set this old bloke on to me
rodney, rodney ranging rod they used to call him
they hired rodney in as a clerk of works
i didn't know why they thought it was important
most of what we were doing
was software development
and this old bloke, rodney was well over sixty
and had been retired two years already
what use is he going to be to us
i don't know why i felt that way
i guess i was kicking up against david
at least in mi head, just because he was the boss
or i thought, oh no, i'm gonna be stuck
with yet another old fogey
telling me more and more stories
about how they built the new towns
how their plans had become real
i cross examined david though,
and said --
why did you hire that old bloke in
h'he's an engineer -- said david
but he's an highways engineer inhe
-- says i --
drainage is civils,
different institutions, init
d'don't worry
-- replied david --
r'r'rodney is an an engineer
well i dint have to worry
next time the phone rang
with a blockage
rodders grabs hold of me
and barks --
just get the address yes
let's go, let's go
what about the plans
-- says i --
yes, good idea -- replies rodney --
get a photocopy
it might prove useful
but let's go and figure out what's really happened, yes
we're engineers, aren't we
it's our job to fix things
put the phone down
look sharp, say your goodbyes
well, rodney was an engineer
he'd been all over
you know oman, in the gulf
oman in the gulf yeah,
yeah man
i know oman -- says the big lad
there's loads of roads there
round the coast yeah
all of them are his,
on that job, he had helicopter
a few thousand men, and a rake of
italian, scottish and german engineers
but all he had, at stevenage
was me, for about an hour a day
come on, come on, look sharp he'd say
put the phone down
we're off
and we'd go where ever
and fix whatever,
and make a report
and chat
david got me back later though
man was david slow
we were in this restaurant
loads of us out on a works do
sixteen of us maybe
we'd only been four the year before
but we grew exponentially
everyone was eating drinking and being merry
we sempt genuinely happy, all of us
they'd been quite a bit of back biting
as we'd tumbled in to each other
and got to know one other
but the team seemed reasonably solid
rivalry more open now
taking the form of pointed humour
david starts stuttering
r'r'rodney, do you know
when we f'first hired you
our y'young colleague h'here
-- says david, pointing to me --
was concerned t'that you l'lacked
civil experience and
o'only knew about highways
well everybody just looked at me
and rodney stared, and shuck his head
and said --
i will tell you the same
as i told the civils
when they offered me a fellowship
provided i paid their subscription tariff
i am a civil engineer
i have been a civil engineer
all my working life
but with respect to roads
i have driven and built
more roads, than some of the generals
upon which clausewitz wrote
i know of others
perhaps it is time for a new institution
man -- says the big lad
shaking his head --
do you think it could happen like that
dunno -- says i --
but if it's happened before
it might happen again i guess
unless we go fix it
the big lad roars laughing
hey, we're here
kebabish, you still hungry yeah
no man, -- says the big lad --
i wasn't messing
i am seriously starved
oh
do you want anything man
i'm going inside
no thanks
i'll get something big yeah
we all share yeah
something big
no thanks i'm fine
just get for yourself yeah
you ok man -- says the big lad
to us compadre
i get something big, yeah
we share yeah
no thank you
i can wait -- comes the reply
ok i go inside, come inside
it will take a while
i want to watch them cook
i'll be in a minute
i'm going to have another fag
you should give those things up man
they're not good for you
they're slow death man
slow death
no i know
i'll be in a minute yeah
-- says i as a roll another --
us compadre and i smile at each other
this time it us compadre
who breaks the relative silence --
what do you make
of richard stallman
dunno,
only seen him the once
it was entertaining
he was up at the university last year
he made me laugh when he put this halo on
he'd fashioned out of redundant sized computer disk
it reminded me of when i was a kid
but i didn't know quite what to think
when he started picking pizza bits
out of his teeth with his long beard
i turned round and said to one bloke there --
what's that all about
the bloke replied --
stallman is free
he's got a free mind
he's breaking down conventions
well i thought
mi grandad used to have beard
he told me that he used it
to mop up any loose whiskey drops
listen to them clapping
-- i said to this bloke --
richard's got a very big following
he may be free of many things
but you can never be free of following
look at him -- i nod through the window
to the big lad gesticulating
in the shop --
look he's trying to direct them
he telling them how to cook
let's go in
and talk to him
we open the door ...
sure you don't want anything
-- says the big lad --
i think we're fine thanks
listen to the hiss
can you smell that cooking
-- roars the big lad --
i get big,
this is going be big man
really big
i told you i was starved
you did -- i nod
what happened to your friend
which one
the one who was drunk
with the beautiful women yeah
oh -- says i --
vincent, where did i get up to
he was pissed up in the doorway
and he heard a tip tip tipping ...
the man behind the counter looks up
and says to the big lad --
chips chips
you want chips with this
yes
no man -- replies the big lad --
but plenty of salad yeah
use the big spoon
and wash it man yeah
wash it, no not the spoon
the salad, wash the salad
oh, it was tip tip tapping
-- says i --
my guess she was wearing stilettos
well she said to vincent --
get up
you can't sleep there
i would if i could -- said he
and the lady shuck her head
took out her keys from her coat pocket
opened the door, stepping over
vincent laid there on the floor
she went inside, and then came back
and said --
get up
you can't sleep there
i don't think i can luv -- said he
sorry, i've been drinking
and i'm drunk as a skunk
and thought i'd best get down
before i fell,
i'll be gone just as soon as it's light luv
i promise you that
get up
you can't sleep there
-- she said --
get up, take my hands
i will help you
she pulled and he stumbled up
after a few attempts
but he was feeling so very woozy
-- i spin my head round --
but the women was just so pretty
face to face, she was a big lass
with such big dark pale eyes
that he had no option but to
smile
and say --
thanks luv
you're beautiful
i'll be on way
well the women smiled back
and said --
on you're way where
it's taken me five minutes
to stand you up,
come inside
you may sleep in my living room
well inside,
it was very nice
very clean, yeah
in fact it smelt of ammonia
and she sat vincent down
on her sofa, disappeared
came back with a pillow
disappeared again, came back with some blankets
and whispered --
i'm making a hot drink
before i go to bed, would you like one,
please -- says vincent --
coffee if have it
or if not,
i don't mind
as long as it's warm and wet
i don't mind
right -- smiled the lady,
you make yourself comfy
and i'll be back in two ticks ...
well, she was gone longer than that
and vincent lent sideways
on the sofa, his head against his shoulder
leaning itself against the pillow
boy was he woozy, he shuck his head
but that didn't work, he remembered
being irritated to the point of sickness
by a fluorescent light that buzzed
buzzzz, it went
can you hear that one
the one there behind the counter
-- says me pointing --
there to catch the flies
buzzzzz, can you hear it
buzzzzz, the bright light above him
buzzzzz, boy was vincent woozy
he just couldn't find a comfortable position
a quiet place in his mind
just to distract from the noise of the lights
he shut his eyes
moments past ...
he heard a click
the red glow and noise stopped
it was dark now and silent
the lady was back
and put two cups upon
a wooden side table
at the side of the settee
he heard another click
as the lady switched on a table lamp
in the corner of the room, and he saw her
bending over, twisting the spot lamp into the corner
but he saw her, she had changed
she was wearing a negligee
and not much else,
she stood up
she was built like an amazon
shaped like an hour glass
firm, dark against the light
she turned round
and said to vincent --
your coffee's on the table
and then she sat down
in a straight back chair
beside the table
and began to brush her straight black hair
thick, very think it was
brush, brush, down her right side
brush, brush, down her left side
almost mechanical, then she flung
her head and hair forward
and back brushed it
over her face
vincent was entranced
just staring at her
she parted her hair with her fingers
looked at him
with her big pale eyes
and said --
don't you want your coffee
vincent just smiled, nodded
fought his wooziness, sat up
took a gulp, and said again --
thanks luv
you really are drunk
-- said the lady --
put your head back on the pillow,
and he did what he was told
she went to his feet
picked them up
and pulls him straight upon the sofa
she undid his shoe laces
he used to wear winkle pickers
shoes, yeah,
do you the type
-- i ask the big lad -
winkle picker
with the pointy toes
yeah
yes -- he replies nodding --
do you -- says i
no -- the big lad shakes --
they are shoes
what the fuck does it matter
they are shoes
what happened next
nayowt -- says i --
well not much
she throw a blanket over him
said goodnight
and went to bed
oh man no -- barks the big lad --
is that all
not quite -- says i --
do you want this
open or wrapped
-- enquires the man
behind the counter --
open -- replies the big lad --
i am seriously starved
chile sauce,
mayonnaise
-- further enquiries --
chile man,
more onions
do you have more onions
a few more onions please
four pounds twenty
is it ready -- says the big lad --
really
yes, four pounds twenty
really
this is going to be good
i am really starved
pass it to me please man
four pounds twenty please
-- replies the man
behind the counter --
the big lad
gets his change
out of his pocket
and counts out four twenty
into his left hand
and says again --
pass it to me
four pounds twenty
-- replies the man
behind the counter --
here, here
-- says the big lad,
raising his left hand
shaking the change --
four pounds twenty,
yes, and now you
lift, lift
-- he motions to the food --
the man behind the counter
lifts up the food
with his left hand also
as they stand face to face
with the counter between them
we swap yes
-- says the big lad,
moving his hands
towards the other --
the other nods
cautiously
we trade on three yes
one, two, three, trade
the trade is successful
and i could do nothing but laugh
as the big lad tucked in
to his kebab, and moaned --
man, man
oh man, this is really good
this is really good yeah
but hot, hey man
how much for seven up
the cans
how much
eighty five
-- says the man
behind the counter
here,
you got change yes
yes
good
-- says the big lad --
i give you ninety yes
you give me five pence change
and the can yes
but the can first yes
man this is really hot
but this is really good
are you sure you don't want any
yes thanks
-- says i --
is that better
yeah, oh yeah
-- munches the big lad --
i am seriously starved
so what happened in the morning
which morning
-- says i --
with your friend, vincent
-- says the big lad laughing,
then pointing and swivelling
his forefinger, he states --
i know you man
what happened in the morning
what happened to vincent man
in the morning
we've not got that far yet
he fell asleep, sure
he was half cut
but he awoke, to what he thought
was a toilet flushing,
and then maybe the sound of sobbing
or crying,
and then the calm,
but he couldn't get back to sleep
he was kinda stuck
with the thought of the lady
bending, amongst other things
he wanted to see her
but then, it dawned on him
that she might not want to see him
in any case, not drunk
but he remembered her brushing her hair
and thought, may be, just may be she did
ah
-- stops the big lad --
that happened to me once
did it
-- i nod --
yeah, back home
i was out
crashed a party
dancing, voom voom
voom voom, rock man rock
you know how i dance yeah
i nod to the big lad
who's plucking an air guitar
with his right hand
whilst playing a harmonica
with the kebab in his left
yeah
and i go bang
-- he flicks his head
sharply back--
and smash
crack ...
er ... what do you call these things
like a wooden matrix
above a terrace
with flowers growing in them yes
what, oh
er ... a trellis
-- i suggest --
like the one
i fastened to the wall
out back
the office
yes, yes,
but much bigger, longer
thirty square metres at least
rectangular yes
horizontal yes
above your head
with flowers and vines
oh, oh
a pagoda
-- i suggest --
yes, yes
a pagoda
i dance yes
bang, it breaks
fuck, i try and push it back up
but no, it is really fubar
fuck
this boy comes up to me, yeah
he says --
this is my parent's home
look what you've done
he was really mad
i laughed
he tried to hit me
i caught his hand, laughed once more
and said --
ok, you hold it
i take a rest yes
and put up his hand to the trellis
fuck, he was mad
he dropped it
boom, flowers everywhere
fuck man,
i got out of there
really fast, and watched
and laughed, he came up to me
you know, again this boy
he tried again
i held him back
got out a thousand euros
and said --
here, here
take this man, yeah
i'm sorry man yeah
but this is so funny
fuck was he mad
are you sure you don't want any of this
sure -- says i giggling --
what happened next
well, this girl
from the island
came up, calmed him down
he fucked off for a bit
we chatted
she was beautiful man
like big, and dark
from the island yes
you like rock, i said
she said yes,
we dance yes, no
yes, we dance yes
ok we dance
and we danced
and she moved man
man, how she moved
but i banged into someone else
and laughed, and the boy came back
fuck, red faced again
i thought fuck
he's going to pop of vein
i told him this time
go screw yourself
and he said, screw you man
and the girl laughed
no, no, no she said
and pulled me this time
well away, we go yes
yes no yes no i said
yes, and we walked out
in to the night
man, it was warm
we sit for a bit
gently kissed
and then
and then
well ...
well what
-- says i --
we made out
oh
-- says i
and then think and say --
how is this like vincent
oh
-- replied the big lad --
the crying
the sobbing
what crying
what sobbing
-- says i --
the girl
she cried
when
-- says i --
when we were making out
did she
why
i don't know man
you know women
i don't know her
dint you ask
no man,
i don't want emotion
i got out of there really fast
when
when did you get out of there
as soon as we'd finished
finished what
making out
fuck,
when did she start crying
during
you know how it is
no i don't know if i do
dint you stop
no man no
you know how it is
yes no yes no maybe
yes no yes no
fuck -- barks i --
paddy is mi indicator working
yes no yes no yes no
-- shouts i --
what's wrong with you man
there is no yes no yes no in this game is there
it's got to be yes yes yes yes yes oh yes
or else it's fucking rape
don't call me a fucking rapist man
-- says the big lad
swivelling his finger again --
you called my sister a whore earlier
don't call me a fucking rapist man
listen sweetheart -- barks i --
i don't know your sister
and i didn't call her a whore
and it wasn't me, who called the lady on the bridge
an whore either,
and i'm certainly not calling
the lady who you made cry a whore
it wasn't me man
-- the big lad protest --
no -- says i --
do you want any thing else lads
-- says the man
behind the counter --
yeah -- says i --
can i have a tin of pop
do you have dandelion and burdock
no
just what you can see
oh, ok
lemonade please
seventy five
-- comes the reply --
i shake my head
at the big lad
and say --
fuck
what -- says the big lad
you don't know do you
what
why the lady was crying
no
do you -- the big lad questions --
no
but i would have asked
have you seen her since
yes
and
and nothing
just from a distance yes
we keep our distance yeah
we keep our heads down
you know
fuck
think back
what was the last thing
she said to you
fuck, i don't know
we were drunk
we were making out
were you
was she drunk too
could she have been saying stop,
arrete, yes
no, well she said stop
but it was stop, start, maybe
you know how these things go
i shake mi head
why was she there
if she didn't want it
want what
maybe she just took pity on you
or was trying get you away
from her mates at the pagoda party
who knows
no, we were there kissing
she wanted it man,
why was she there
if she didn't want it
i stop, and shake mi head again --
dunno
i bet she's asked herself that question
many times,
more times
than i'd want to imagine
no man
it wasn't like that
wasn't it
-- says i --
why was she crying
i don't fucking know
-- barks the big lad --
seventy five pence please
-- says the man behind the counter --
oh sorry mate
-- says i,
passing him over the change --
fuck
-- says i again
to the big lad --
you look shocked
has this never happened to you
no
-- says i --
never
no
-- says i --
fuck -- says the big lad --
never
no
-- says i --
fuck,
nothing similar
i think back
and say --
yes, it's grabbing isn't it
you took, you grabbed
didn't you, screw the rest
you thought, didn't you
i eat this -- i roar --
didn't you, it is mine
yes
-- said the big lad --
after all
i am a man
-- and he squeezes
really tight
and knuckles mi temples
yet again and says --
i knew you would understand
that's why i love you man ...
well, i don't think
i'd ever felt so sick to the pits
ever before,
sick to the soul, sick to the touch
sick of it all, i looked up
straight through the big lad
and into my reflection
in the shop window
and through this mirage i saw
the big lad's face, further away
but reflecting back at me all the same
off the perspex covering of the price list,
mounted on the wall behind me
and more reflections
cascading, hop scotching, in to infinity
spiralling, i felt so giddy
i closed mi eyes
and tried to focus ...
i heard the buzzing
of the fly catcher
and it dint make me any better
i opened them again
no change
our reflections were still there
but this time, through it
superimposed, and actually in it
i see a lady looking in at me
but not really,
she's straightening out her hair
checking out her visage
against the outside of the window
i laugh
and start again
with the big lad ...
do you know sometimes
i think i laugh
or giggle in the wrong places
-- i begin --
some of the things you say
just get me laughing
but sometimes
i think it encourages you
and you think
some how i approve
but i don't
far from it
i shake mi head
what do you mean
what like man
like, for instance
you know how your mam was twenty
and your dad was forty,
when they got married
and you said, i'm going to improve
on the design, when i get that old
i'll going to get two twenty year olds
yeah, it makes sense yeah
as a matter of equity
and i laughed
yeah -- laughs the big lad --
well maybe i shouldn't
oh man -- giggles the big lad --
i was only messing
were you
i don't know any more
i was messing man
were you
i don't know, but i do know this
if it's happiness
you're looking for
with a women
it's far easier to find it with one
than with two
i think your dad would say the same
i know,
i was messing
were you,
what would your mother have to say
the big lad laughs
--
man, you are mad
i wouldn't say this
to my mother
no
well why
do you says these things to me
i was just talking man
talking shit man, yeah
i shake mi head --
come on, let's go
let's go hit the hay yeah
yeah, man
i'm not quite so starved now
but i extremely shagged
let's go sleep
yeah
let's go sleep
so we get out of kebabish
and start south back along the track
the last half mile up the sheaf ...
are you sure
you don't want any of this
either of you
i'm nearly there
full yeah,
have you got lemonade left
yeah
yeah,
do you want it
please man yeah
it was so hot
what about vincent man
what happened to him
oh, well
he kinda couldn't resist it
or rather her,
his thoughts
he was really quite young
he'd had the occasional quick fumble
after a dance, or a match
but that lady, she was mature yeah
she's got a baby, and her own place
different life, well different from his
if not the first time for vincent
then it was the first real time
and her, she, who knows,
who knows what she's used to,
b'b'biblically speaking
who knows where she'd been before
in the car, or any time before that night ...
he was soon up
he sat up at first
drank up the cold coffee
stared at the lamp in the corner
stood up, didn't feel too shaky
so he went upstairs
found the loo,
urinated
flushed, washed his hands
came out, in to the corridor
and listened at what he took
to be her door
slowly
he pushed it quietly open
she was lying with her back to him
but the crack let the light in
and she turned and put her finger up
to her lips and shushed
she stood up slowly, quietly
and came to him and said --
what do you want
i just thought -- said vincent --
what -- she whispered --
thought what
well vincent shuck his head
and said again --
i just thought
not here -- said the lady --
taking him by the hand again
and back to the sofa --
get back down -- she said --
head back on the pillow
-- she said -- and again
picked up his feet
and pulled him flat out --
there -- she said --
that's a good boy
you can stay her
but promise me
no hands, no kissing
well vincent nodded
and thought she was leaving
but she didn't, she bent down over him
and said --
you can't be comfortable
with those on
pointing to his trousers,
don't be shy -- she said --
as she undid his belt and buttons
are you shy -- she said
not really, said vincent
good, best not to be really
here, i'll help, she said
that's it, that that's undone
then standing back at his feet
where she'd unpicked his winkle pickers
she pulled at the sleeve of his jeans
until she'd slid them off his toes
there now -- she said
isn't that better
yes thanks -- said vince
it's a bitty chilly mind
oh, are you cold -- said she
where's that blanket
it's crumpled look
that no use,
let me give it a shaking
and she did, she took two corners
with her hands, flapped it out
but when she laid it flat,
she din't cover him,
she covered the floor below
why you done that
-- said vincent --
the floor can get a bit chilly too
-- her reply, a matter of fact --
it can be rough also, in some places
don't worry, i'll warm you
but promise me
no hands, no kissing
not with out my permission
well vincent nodded yet again
but this time neither smiling
she stepped on to the sofa
lowered her self down slowly
upon to his ankles
boy was she warm ...
oh look -- says i --
to us compadre and the big lad
whilst pointing to the ground --
a penny
i pick it up
you know what they say don't ya
see a penny
pick it up
and if you're lucky
all that day
you might have that penny
what happened next man
-- says the big lad --
next, i roll a fag
-- says i --
let's just stand here for a bit yeah
have you finished with the wrapping paper
there's a bin there look
oh yes -- says the big lad
throwing the bits --
let's walk, yeah
i'm tired man, seriously
you must be -- says i --
i'm tired too
and you're a lot a younger than me
do you know what
these days i get tired
just telling stories
us compadre laughs this time
which is always a joy to hear
let's go a bit further yeah
there's some forms just below
the brow of this mound
let's go sit yeah
down by the sheaf
watch the day break yeah
see the dawn
oh man no,
come on, it's really late
i need to sleep
i want to too
but it's that late, it'll soon be early
we may as well catch it
we've come so far, it's only another
two hundred so yards,
yeah, come on
just tell me what happened
quickly, i go sleep yeah
you two, well you two
you two do whatever
but i go sleep yeah man
i need sleep, quickly
it's not a quick story
oh man
can you shorten it
well i can try
but it's got a long to go yet
she was very warm you see
oh man,
does it get better yes
does what get better
the story,
does it get any better yes
why
do you think it's crap at the moment
no -- laughs the big lad --
i mean, you know
wham bam, wham bam
you know
no, i don't know
-- says i laughing too --
what do you mean
-- snorts the big lad --
have you no idea
it's you that's telling it
isn't it
no, i mean no
i don't know
what you mean by
wham bam, wham bam
you know
yes you do
-- entreats the big lad --
juicy, wham bam
juicy you know
well yes i suppose
do you want to the hear
the next bit, yeah
yeah
ok, here goes ...
well there's vincent laid down
looking up at this lady knelt astride
his ankles, his toes are moving
behind her bum, and certain other appendages
but other than that, he's frozen, solid
staring right in to the eyes of this lady,
who's moving slowly and staring straight back
she puts her hands upon his pelvis
locking her arms straight
she moves against him, first up
one shin and then the other
then placing her hands upon his shoulders
pushes up either thigh, this time
squeezing tightly kneading almost
now in time to her own sweet sighing
there -- she says
when their faces
touch almost
her big eyes up close
her legs spread wide
she pushing down
upon his mid section
there -- she sighs again
almost there
she sits up straight
perpendicular
and quivers
vincent, forgot his promise
he put his hands up to her thighs
they felt so strong
she stopped, slapped his dannies
really hard as with a mallet
and whispered --
no hands,
you promised
you promise
i promise -- says vincent
she begins again ever so slowly
until she began again to quiver
but this time she intertwines their fingers
twisting their arms around the small of her back
and she says --
squeeze, please
squeeze, tight please
they squeeze together
i'm so warm
-- she said --
i ought to,
take my night dress off
and she does
and she is very well built
very,
he bra looks fit to bursting
push, push
-- she sighed --
push down with me
and vincent, well
vincent did as he was asked
she stopped hard, frozen
moments
like a stone almost solid
but gently quivering minutes maybe
she lent forward
pushed up his old grey vest
and buried her head
quivering against his chest
he felt her breath, sweet upon his neck
it was over, or so he thought ...
well go on then
-- says the big lad --
continue
have you ever smelt a women
of course
no
i dunt mean smelt her shop bought perfume
i mean a women, her hair
her sweat, her own sweet scent
yeah, d'accord
well that's what vincent did
i mean in way he was frustrated
very frustrated, but in another way
he just didn't give a fig
he like what she did, he liked her for that matter
he began to stroke her back
she liked that, he played with her hair
he said to her --
it's very straight
i iron it -- was her reply --
it was very long too
it ran straight down her back
towards her bum, she stopped him there though
not yet, no
-- she said --
in a minute,
i will start again
-- she said --
i promise
but then there came a crying from upstairs
and the women froze just as solid as before
she raised herself up, off his chest
and listened to her baby calling
vincent remained still also, listening
the lady called out and upwards --
sleep now baby
shhush,
back to sleep now please
the crying continued, but the lady held firm
calling again --
sshhush now
back to sleep you
go back to sleep you my love
i stop walking
and say --
and then it really started
come on
let's sit on those forms for a bit
until it's light yeah
it won't be long
about forty five minutes i guess
what time is it know
late
very late
-- says the big lad
crankily --
and then what really started
the juice
come on
let's keep walking
and go sit for a bit yeah
here,
it was like a click, upon his chest
vincent jerked at the second tick
and the lady shushed him this time
by beginning again her slow hip grind
sshhush baby
back to sleep now you
she called once more,
and once more vince felt
a tick, but upon his chin this time
he felt at it, it was wet, a dripping
what was it, a nose bleed he thought absurdly
it worried him, her moving thighs distracted him
but the drips just kept ticking
upon his chest and his chin
he froze
what's wrong
-- whispered the lady
once the baby was calmed
and quiet --
my chest is wet
-- his reply --
oh i am sorry
-- replied the lady --
let's stand up
and get your wet vest off
i'm weaning my baby
my tits are leaking
and they're very sore
no touching promise
you lie down
on the floor please
on that blanket
and i will warm you
as i promised
and she did, she sat astride his chest this time
the milk there acted as a lubricant
slipping herself back and forth,
so slowly, so gentle, until her thighs
were rubbing against his face and chin
you need to shave -- she said --
ok -- said vince --
do you have a razor
not now -- she laughed,
and rubbed again
am i too heavy
for your chest
too heavy for you yes
not really
-- he replied --
you're a big lass
but you're ever so bonny
why thank you
i can do this if it helps
-- she said -- as she lent forward
knees either side of his ears
no kissing though
not yet, at least not there
at least not yet
please, your hands please again
-- she said --
same place as last time
i need my hands this time
-- said she --
you do it, gentle strokes
yes that's nice
squeeze a little
if you like
so, same crack as before
a little bit this way, she moves
a little bit that way, she moves
sometimes she hovers, others
she rasps her thighs upon his chin
squeezing tightly kneading almost
now in time to her own sweet sighing
there -- she says
there, again
almost there
she sits up straight
begins her quiver
vincent grabbed up at that point
and made to honk her ample bosoms
no,
you promised
-- the lady whispered --
not there,
here, push with me
and she intertwined their fingers
squashed her breasts in to each other
their hands clasped still
like live book ends, compressing the volumes
now both squeezing tightly kneading almost
the drip drip dripping down her tummy,
her thighs, smooth live book ends
his book like mouth, tasting smelling
now in time to her own sweet sighing
hard, this time, he tried to force their fingers
round to cup a frontal feel,
stop
you promised
-- said the lady
miffed, she stood up
shuck her head --
no hands, no kissing
not with out my permission
you promise
vincent nods
she smiles --
let me kiss you
but don't kiss me back
at least not yet
she extracts another promise
i kiss you
and you stay still
well she began with the lightest feather like kisses
upon his mouth, and then began to dart her tongue
against his upper teeth and gums, gentle at first
slowly down, round the inside of his mouth,
then faster, then she nipped his bottom lip
howw -- said vincent --
what you do that for
sorry -- she says --
did that hurt
no biting then
and no kissing
promise
i kiss you again
and you stay still
and she started kissing him once more
but this time her tongue pushes really deep
too deep really
for the amount that vince had had to drink
and he pulled back
and she stops, quick
sorry -- she say --
but thank you
for not kissing me back
your welcome
-- said vince
not really knowing
what to think --
i'm so warm
-- she said once more
but this time
when she sat back upon his chest
her back was facing him
then ever so slowly
moving her self across his wet rib cage
up and gently sliding
she whispered --
unhook my bra please
vincent fumbled
but obliges
and once undone, the bra sprang off
across the room
unwrapping internal tensions
ping it popped
ohhohh -- the lady moans --
please squeeze, at the sides
she moves her hands to help
they interlock again with vincent's
they press in harmony with her breathing
he hears and feels the tick tick dripping
she sliding slowly slow gyrations
to the same pace as their pressings
am i too heavy
for your chest
-- she says --
too heavy for you yes
not really
-- vincent this time giggled --
good,
but, i can do this if it helps
-- said she
and just as before she leans
half kneels, her weight now gentle
back and forth, wet feather brushing
against his stubble
you can kiss me back now
if you wish -- she whispered --
oh,
can you smell that
-- says i
as we reach the sheaf --
i can always smell detergent just here
can you smell it
let's sit here for a bit
can you smell it
us compadre sniffs and says --
no
i think it's psychosomatic
maybe -- i reply --
psychofuckingsomething
-- suggest the big lad --
i giggle --
your english is improving
what's wrong with you
what we doing here man
-- says he --
which here -- says i --
what we doing here, geographically
or
what we doing here, metaphysically
you are at it again
and i am very tired
don't you wanna know
what happened to vince
not any more man
he got it didn't he
nayow, not really
not like he got it later
he's still frustrated
but
do you know why i think it smells here
no
can't you smell anything
sniff man, sniff
yes, there is a whiff,
hewww, but it is more like dog shit
come on, let's go
we've just got here
let's sit for a bit
five more minutes
then we go
i promise -- says i
i promise -- says the big lad
mimicking --
i know you man
there is no vince
it was you wasn't it
nayow -- says i --
maybe i wish
but this one,
is one of vincent's
man, did he know how to tell 'em
i don't believe you man
well, you don't have to
but do you what
what happened next
and then should we go yeah
yeah man
well the lady said to vince
it's your turn now
and lying upon her front
she pulled the pillow
below her tummy
and asked vince to warm her
as she had warmed him earlier
-- no hands
no kissing
promise
ok -- said vincent --
and began to rub as slow as she
first one leg and then the other
until he nuzzled against wet feathers
she arched a little, moved him between
her lips and pillow,
slowly, no hands
thank you -- she whispered --
that feels nice against my tummy
slowly that's right
no need to hurry
do not wet me, at least not yet please
then, like before
they intertwined their hands like book ends
and compressed her breasts from the side
man were they firm, solid, like pamplemousses
squeeze please
harder please
everywhere harder please
she arched once more,
and quivered, and began to shake
quite slowly
this time though
vincent squeezed and rubbed
and perhaps did something
he shouldn't have done
he hooked his hand around her breasts
and squeezed her tight, and felt the milk
dribble between his fingers
ohoh -- moaned the lady --
tighter
you promise
not the nipples
squeeze tighter
harder, squeeze
and again
vincent did as instructed
but this time he stopped sharp
for upon her chest he felt
a third breast, small between the other two
smaller, more like a pregnant teenager's,
just as firm
no -- barks the big lad --
yeah, i know
but it's more common
than you would imagine
fuck three man, no
-- intones the big lad --
yeah -- i nod --
well more like two and half
life's stranger than fiction
fuck
i know
it shocked poor vince also
she had to warm him up again
don't stop
-- she said --
squeeze
please
harder
-- as she rubbed him
with her dry soft tummy
well, vince being vince
did as he was directed
until conquered by his large frustration
and
perhaps a smaller curiosity
he whispered --
turnover please
no
not yet
squeeze -- replied the lady
in a low moan
i will, i shall
i promise
but turnover please
ok -- relents the lady --
but promise
no kissing
not the nipples
kiss them at the sides
if you wish, you can even lick
but no, not there
not the nipples
no don't lick there
oh here here, she says
this one
you can have this little one
the baby needs the others
and with that
she pulled vincent up between her large breasts
and attaches him to her little tit
then, with one hand on his manhood
she tucks its tip into her naval
and says --
now rub together
squeeze, and feed
wow
was that lady hot now
a real live wire
it was as though the flood gates had opened
half an hour like this they stayed
vincent feeding and squeezing to his hearts content
both draining, and finally being drained
in to the mote of ladies soft naval
exhausted
they fell asleep
man, juicy
three tits man
-- exclaims the big lad --
wam bam, wam bam
yeah, i know
but vincent couldn't find it in the morning though
when the light broke through the curtains
it had gone, it was no more
she was still there though
still as bonny, sleeping deeply
smiling sweetly, firm in mind and fit of body
but now between her leaking breasts
he saw a wet patch glowing red
and in this fresh light, came fresh knowledge
oh -- thought vince --
that little tit i fed upon
was just a carbuncle, but a giant one
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